Gift baskets are out of fashion! Or is it that they’re just boring? My fervent hope is that you’ll eventually come to the conclusion that both statements are wrong. You see, I make my living by selling gift baskets (among other food gifts). While I agree that it’s not quite the same as being a test pilot or a neurosurgeon, it’s an honest way to pay for tuition for my grandson. Or at least it would be a good way to do so if more of you bought my products.
I can read your mind: “I’ll bet he never has a problem deciding what to give during the holidays; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” How dare you think about me in that way! I actually have the same problems you have in deciding what gift is best for everyone on my list.
I do not give food filled bundles of joy to my entire gift list. Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours. At my store, we offer scores of fruit baskets, gourmet meals, wine gift baskets and far more than that, even. (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is. A little patience is called for on your part.)
Before you bribe me (or threaten me) to share my store location with you, I want to tell you about my own decision making approach.
My first step is to decide on the appropriate category of gift from the many choices. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, I should not even consider the wine baskets. Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She thrills to have a new member of her audience so that she can explain what makes a good vintage year, the varieties of grapes that are used in her favorite blends and, especially, how much she paid for each bottle (as well as how much she paid for the carpeting you just ruined by spilling your glass). I’ll give her one of my better wine gift baskets, but I refuse to give her the best stuff. Sure, I get it wholesale, but I still have to pay for it! (I’m also not going to pay for the carpet cleaning; not after what that cat of hers did to my new coat.)
Everyone in our family, except me, says that my nephew Alfred finally made his girlfriend an honest woman. I, on the other hand, never doubted his girlfriend’s honesty, but I have some reasons to suspect Alfred. In any case, they finally got married. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift. Well, he’s not getting that from me. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. My thinking is that this is the only way to get his bride out of the kitchen. Alfred would never pay for a restaurant meal, so, in a sense, I’m sending the restaurant to them.
My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people. Then my wife makes me double that amount.
My perfect grandson isn’t getting a food gift. I’m getting him the latest cell phone system, complete with an unlimited calling plan. I would get him a sports car if only you would buy a lot more gift baskets!